Ants in my pants

by Jess

I don’t really have ants in my pants.  But I have them everywhere else.  At least, I did — until I recently found their base of operations in my sugar bowl, and that seems to have taken care of the hundreds I would find scurrying across the counters every day.  Or the millions I would find if a pin-sized speck of sweet food had dripped onto the counter.  I didn’t really want to put out ant traps, what with a baby getting into everything these days, so my weapon of choice was an all-purpose cleaner with which I dispatched them on sight.  It was hard, thankless work, but by God, it had to be done.

Tom Junod knows what I’m talking about.  His gorgeous Esquire piece is crawling with ants.  It’s very funny — in an icky, squirmy sort of way — and just a beautiful piece of writing.  I recommend it on this sunny Saturday afternoon, and may you always find yourself ant free.